


What do you know about love?

by ERAC12



Series: The Old Guard's fics aka an excuse to write about Joe and Nicky [4]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, The Old Guard (Movie 2020), Torchwood
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Ianto only appears at the begining, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27130972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ERAC12/pseuds/ERAC12
Summary: A question, an almost thousand years old couple and two souls.–How do you know you love someone? –Ianto asked to the immortal couple while they were eating dinner.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: The Old Guard's fics aka an excuse to write about Joe and Nicky [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880311
Kudos: 18





	1. Joe's side

_"How do you know you love someone?" Ianto asked to the immortal couple while they were eating dinner. They were visiting him in their little vacation (aka Andy got tired of the shitty world and its bullshit)._

_The pair looked to the other, trying to find an answer to the youngest one of their family. The welsh man seemed confused and a little out of place, as if he was an intrusive in their private life, and, immediately felt guilty for asking._

_"I am sorry, I shouldn’t…" He started to say but Nicky just gave him a refreshing smile. Joe noticed the uncomfortable position of the other man and pat his shoulder._

_"t’s okay." The dark eyed man ensured with soft eyes and a kind smile. "Just give us a little time to think how to answer" He pledged, surprising Ianto for his lack of words. The two older men meditated in silence, losing themselves in each mind and past…_

_His first love was naive._

The first time Yusuf felt something that later in life he could identify as love, romantic love and sexual attraction, was when he was thirteen years old. His name was Amir. He couldn’t remember his face after a millennium. He could only recall a laugh so warm that, still thousand years later, he felt his heart jumped with happiness and lightness. It was an innocent love, both of them were too young and unexperienced, but brighter and excited.

Amir was the oldest son of a fabric’s merchant and he was Joe’s dearest childhood friend and neighbour. He had been a brave and adventurous boy; he had been always on the running; so different from him, Yusuf, who has always preferred the calm of reading and creating art pieces. When they were in lectures, Amir would get him in troubles but he never cared.

They had always been together as kids. But, as teenagers, they being the oldest ones in their families, they had responsibilities with their father’s business. For that reason, they stopped having too many opportunities to spent with the other. Although they created their moments to be together, alone, when they fullfed their duties and their fathers indulged them. They would explore the market or escape outside the city to practice their sword’s ability.

One day, they were resting in their favourite spot, a little oasis of peace outside the town. Yusuf had brought a piece of bread and dry fruits to share with his friend and Amir had bought drinks for them. They spent the afternoon talking and chilling, no noticing how fast the time ran. No different for any other day, except for a little detail: That day, Amir asked him who he found gorgeous and who would he want to marry.

At that moment, Yusuf found a few girls beautiful but he considered Amir the most handsome person in his world. Of course, he wouldn’t said it out loud…he couldn’t deal with the embarrassment. So, he lied and said the girls’ names. Unexpectedly, Amir kneed in front of him and kissed him. The kiss was short and shy. When Amir separated off him, he was blushed. Then, his friend confessed him that he was jealous of that other girls and he wanted him for himself. The happiness in the other was only matching the excitement of Yusuf: Amir were his special one too!

Their time together were short but a bliss. They would spend together all their free time, nothing unusual, but their families knew that they were not only friends. Both of their families would accept the other in their homes and, sometimes, they would fuse their business to increase the gains. But everything had to end; Amir got sick one day and nothing the doctor tried help him. Yusuf was 15 years old when he lost his first romantic love.

After Amir’s death, Yusuf was inconsolable and heartbroken. He spent all his time writing and praying, looking for solace. He knew he was lucky for having the chance of meeting and loving him. He thanked God for that. But he wasn’t able to give his heart away for five years and his family respected his mourn and didn’t obligated him to marry.

_The second one was gentle_

  
The second person who he fell in love with was Amir’s only sister, Sara. He also didn’t remember her aspect. But, when he let himself think of the past, he could picture a beautiful pair of brown eyes and long dark silky hair that he would brush and braided every night. Nothing more.

Their love wasn’t born in a day as they got together to satisfied the social expectation and unified their family business. He chose her because he wanted to ensure her happiness and take care of her In Amir’s memory. She was a strong woman who built a sense of respect in Yusuf and scare the hell out of him when she was angry.

They cared for each other. They were friends and spouses but they were never lovers. Sara didn’t feel the need or hunger for carnal pleasures and Yusuf would never obligate her or betrayed her trust. She was intelligent woman and helped Yusuf in the management of their house and their business. Together, they built a strong house were both of their relatives were welcome to stay. They weren’t rich but they’re blessed with more that they needed it.

He was 27 when he knew that he loved her and adored their life together. They didn’t have children of their own but their future, and family, were ensure in Yusuf’s nephews and niece. They were Yusuf and Sara’s adoration and they loved to pamper them. His brother’s family lived with them and he spent all his free time declaiming poetry or painting with them. They didn’t need more.

Then, the letter from Jaffa came. His brother was in the port city, selling and buying merchandise, when the franks came and attack the city. The letter arrived for a lucky chance before the site started. Jaffa wasn’t not the only city in danger and the threat of war felt over all Jusuf’s world. His sister in law was devastated meanwhile his parents were resigned and starting to mourn. On the opposite, Yusuf wouldn’t give up his brother’s life. Sara didn’t have to talked with him to know what his husband would do.

She prepared everything for his leaving. Her eyes full of tears when she bidden farewell but she kept her strength. She made him a silent promise: she would take care of their family in his absence. They would be safe; he didn’t have to worry. He had just to came back. He didn’t do it but he helped his brother to return in his place.

_The third one was Marco by it’s fierce_

The third time he fell in love, an absolute love that will change everything, was an awkward situation. He fell in love with the one he’d called enemy and many other awful names. The one who had killed him and he killed so many times. The one who became his friend and companion so many years after the first time they had crossed swords. He fell in love with Nicky.

At first, he couldn’t understand what kind of feelings the other woke in him: He didn’t hate him but Could he love him?

He had forgiven his previous actions the moment he comprehended Nicolo’s circumstances. He could even understand his position and the reason behind his motivations: The fear from the unknown, the different (Both would find out the greed and desperation behind the war they had lived and death for). But he couldn’t forget the massacre and the misery and the other’s participation on it.

To his surprise, he thanked (thanks) God for open his eyes, he could see beyond it when he spent a long time with him, knowing and befriending him. In his core, Nicolo was kind, gentle and emphatic with everyone who need help. He just hid it from the world with his distant and cold façade. Unlike Joe, he had a difficult childhood and problematic young early life.

The moment he knew that he saw him as a man, not just a friend, was the first time he watched him touching himself. It wasn’t that he didn’t find him beautiful before it, he wasn’t blind, but that time he wanted to touch him and craved for taste his pleasure and be the one who caused his moans. The lust and embarrassment were too much and he left without being noticed.

He had felt desire before, for men and women, but he didn’t want to ruin his relationship with the only companion he had in his immortal life for lust. That thought made him reflect in his feelings toward the other man. It wasn’t just lust… As he only felt safe with Nicolo at his side; the little things in life, even the unpleasant life, became satisfying; the pain of the immortality and time would turn weightless if Nicolo was there.

He loved Nicolo (He still do it). But he didn’t want to destroy his partnership. He thought at the time, he was young and dumb, that love didn’t last for ever and immortality was too long to be heartbroken and alone. So, he took the decision to ignore his feelings. He would shove his love and distracted himself with different people.

Nicolo, his furious and passional Nico, wasn’t amused by his encounters with his lovers. Joe had thought that he was offended for his carnal appetite and his adventures. He had never been more wrong in his life! Everyone that didn’t know them though that Joe was the one who make the first move; whereas It was the genovese the brave one who did it. 

One afternoon, the brunet faced him and, between grievances and disputes, he declared his love from him. He was fuming as he hated to see him in another’s arms and he gave him the longest discourse he would ever say in his life -he was a man of actions, no words- before he kissed him like he was the life itself. That event marked the initial of their relationship; the third time that Joe’s love, the one capable to endure time and tragedies -No mattered what his younger self guessed-, and the ultimate one from him...The one he would love in this existence and the others.


	2. Nicky's side

The first time Nicky felt love, romantic love, was when he was thirteen years old. He was still trying to figure out what route to take, To become a merchant as Marcelo or join the church when he met him. His name was Francesco. Nicolo was naïve and he thought he was being reciprocated.

Francesco was a new friend of Angelo, his older brother, and he was from Milan. Also, he was older than Nicolo since he was twenty years old, the same age than his brother Marcelo and four years younger than Angelo. He was the first one, outside his two siblings, then he didn’t look at him as he was a waste of space. Might be that was the reason of Nicolo’s feeling, he needed attention.

Nicky hadn’t forgotten his face. No even almost thousand years could make him do it. Some night he would wake up with fear and tears in his eyes when he dreamt with Francesco. With his manipulative smile, his beautiful face and his hands all over him. Only Joe’s voice could help him out of his mind.

He was dumb. He was just a teenager easy to impress and desperate for feeling loved. He felt quickly for the handsome man who dedicated to him a few minutes of his day. Francesco was a tall man with dark hair and shining blue eyes. He had a healthy body and a strong complexion. As it was expected for an heir who practice sword fighting and hunting. The young teenager had considerate himself so lucky for grabbing his attention and he really believed he loved him too.

Nicolo didn’t mind that they just looked each other in secret. He didn’t care how he was asked to hide the little gifts he was given or not to tell anyone about their encounters. He didn’t give importance to how his hand and lips would travel for his body, making him uncomfortable and his mind alerted something was wrong.

It was too late when he realized that Francesco didn’t love him. No in reality. Nicolo had already given his heart, body and soul to the perverse man. That fateful night, the older man wasn’t kind with his touches. No lovely kisses or gentle moves. He just wanted to take everything that Nicolo had to offer. Including his life since he didn’t want anyone to know about their relationship. Luckily, his brothers suspected the other ill intention and saved him.

_His first love ended in blood and shame._

The second time he loved someone was so different for the previous one. He had been in the monastery ten years, just had ordered priest, and twenty-five years old. He had entered the clergy after the incident with Francesco, wanting a safe place. Far for the memories and the prejudges of the society. Also, He decided willingly to dedicated his life to God as an act of thankfulness for facing two brother that loved him fiercely and risk everything to save his life.

The man he had loved was a monk who had visited the abbey. His name was Daniel. His beauty was angelical. He had blond curls, green eyes and tanned skin. He dedicated himself to travel and help little communities as well as he predicted the Christ’s words. He had a different opinion and perspective of the Christianity that the one which was practiced by the church as he believed in kindness and love over power.

He had been sent there to be tamed and put in line. Their superior wanted to unified the way of religion and people like Daniel put that idea in danger. So, they wanted to correct it. A tragic day had been when the shaved Daniel’s curls and forced him to enter into the order.

Nicolo’s admired his strength in front of adversity. And, despite of that, Daniel was a gentle soul. He believed in love and hope over of the things, even Christianity. He was so gorgeous, intelligent and sensible that it was difficult to Nicolo to resist him He tried and failed. Also, he was his cellmate.

Surprisingly, Nicolo wasn’t his first lover but, sadly, he would be his last. They shared years of happiness. The elders didn’t care about something like this. They just had to kept it inside the walls of the monastery.

They were almost like wife and husband. They took care of each other’s, loved the other and shared of their material belongings. They even shared bed. Everyone in the order knew it, they didn’t care. But, then, the plague came. It wasn’t the one that will be known as the Black Plague but, at the time, any disease was a plague and a God’s punishment.

Daniel got sick after the first wave. He had gone out to help the commoners. His kindness killed him. Nicolo couldn’t say goodbye to him since it was ordered that all the sick was separated. No even he could saw his body or mourning him properly.

 _The second love ended in tears and emptiness_.

The third time he felt in love started in death. Well, to be accurate, it was a series of endless death and resuscitation but that didn’t matter. Or perhaps, it did.

Yusuf was his enemy. The he become his friend. To transformed in his everything. And all of this happened without Nicky’s intention. He showed him another way to see the world. So different, and, at the same time, it wasn’t. He taught him about love, loyalty and family. The concepts he knew but he hadn’t lived them so freely.

Nicky would never have a bigger regret that his participation in the crusades. In the first one, since it made him an ambassador of death. He attacked innocents’ people and not so innocent but he was the hostile the one had just appeared and brought hell to earth. He still could y believe that Joe forgives him.

Nicky knew he had fall in love with Yusuf when he could predict anything he wanted or needed before he told him and vice versa. Nicolo acknowledge he spent too much of his time observing the other and taking notes of his actions and costumes. As well as he could felt his presence without looking or missed him when he was gone.

At first, he decided to hide his feelings. Love could be painful and they were immortals. Only God knew how awful could end. But he regretted it almost immediately. His heart only hurt more every time he had to see Yusuf died and he couldn’t be there to hold him in his arms until he came back. His soul wanted to caress his curls and touched him all the time.

Then, he saw him with others and his decision went straight to hell. He saw red. Jealousy ate him alive every time he had to listen to his moans or see him being touched by others. He didn’t kill them so he was in control. Despite that, he decided he had enough.

"I don’t like that you bring these people in our house." He started to say one night. "I don’t like that they can touch you and give you pleasure." Yusuf opened his mouth to talk but Nicolo didn’t let him "I love you" He declared without fear. "… I love you so much that hurts when you are not with me.." The African looked him surprised. "It breaks my heart every time you died and all what is left in me it’s a rage that want to make suffer everyone who dares to hurt you." Nicolo let a little groan out to the idea. "When you come back I only want to adore you because you’re the biggest miracle god gave me and I cannot life without your smile and laughs, without your voice..." His voice broke a little. "Without you…"

Silent. Nicolo felt a known formed in stomach, Yusuf didn’t do anything. He didn’t leave or shout out but he didn’t answer either. A deadly silent.

“I understand if you don’t share my feelings." Nicolo said. "I will respect your decision and I will restraint myself." He felt the tears burn in his eyes. "But, please, don’t apart me of your side." He pledged.

"Nicolo..." Yusuf responded. "My Nicolo." The genovese looked at him confused. "I will prefer the most painful deathless death than being a part of you." He declared. "Your words are sweet to my ears and bring joy to my heart." Yusuf’s eyes were shiny because the tears of emotion in them. "I didn’t know you feel the same I do, I didn’t have an idea and I feared if you knew about my feeling you would leave me, so I try to forget you with others…"

Nicolo kissed fiercely. Yusuf didn’t see him coming but that didn’t stop him for answering with the same passion. His lips and hands were hungry for the other body.

“Never try something like that again” Nicolo snarled before guided him to their bed.

“Never” Yusuf promised “, my heart.”

_Joe, his third love, was the one who teach him that love was beautiful. It could be painful sometimes but life is like that. Nevertheless, love was worthy. Never something to be afraid or shameful. Love was trying to be the best version of yourself and want the best for the other. Love was reciprocated. Love was freedom._

Nicky love Joe for eternity. An endless love. To this existence and the others, he would be there to embrace him and welcome him back.


End file.
